
Why does no one see this?
There are a scary number of people who see Yu Ziyuan as some form of admirable, and obviously they don't think she'd abuse her husband, but even the people who despise her seem to have missed this. Despite it being right there the moment you look - she's verbally and emotionally abusive with her insistence that everything wrong in their marriage is his fault for not loving her enough, her repeated accusations that he cheated on her, her destruction of his relationship with his son... We don't get to see her physically abusing him, but I seriously would not put money against it happening in private.
And the fandom blames Jiang Fengmian, the way that real life men get blamed for being caught in an abusive relationship. "He could have divorced her!" "He had the social power to escape!" "He's too passive, so it's his own fault!" He tried to escape. His parents pressured her into marrying him. It says so in the text.
I'm not saying that people should like him. I'm not saying that people should agree with his choices. (I don't agree with pretty much all his choices when it comes to Wei Wuxian.) I am saying that I am tired of and a little disgusted by seeing so many people who call Yu Ziyuan out on her child abuse then swing around and blame Jiang Fengmian for his abuser's actions.